Grounds are no longer needed to file for divorce. The bible states that Abandonment, abuse and adultery are the reasons God allows divorce.
In the eyes of the legal process “irreconcilable differences” can be stated with no need to elaborate when striving for an amicable divorce.
During occasions where there is an opportunity for the couple to collaboratively work out a few of their differences couples therapy for divorce and certified divorce coaching can be beneficial.
When you read my book, Better Divorce Blueprint, I list on page 6… the 21 most common reasons divorce is filed.
The more of the 21 reasons a couple share and experience the less likely it is that the marriage can survive with out causing substantial and irreconcilable damage to either or both spouses.
Divorce incorporates every aspect of our lives.
On one hand there is the emotional, mental, psychological, physical, sexual, spiritual and social/community aspects of the decision, process and healing that comes from contemplating, approaching, managing, surviving and healing from the divorce journey.
Then, on the opposite side of divorce is the legal, financial, residential, lending/mortgage, parenting, career, insurance, tax ramifications and court procedural red tape of the divorce process.
These two worlds rarely collide on paper but in our hearts and minds they linger and fester. It is best to get reasonable help for divorce and never go it alone. 70% of divorce is filed by women. The average amount of time women contemplate divorce internally before they share their feelings with anyone is two years.
There are also 6 common methods of divorcing and each one has very different stages or procedures. DIY, mediation, collaboration, arbitration, litigation and more amicable divorce process are all methods that have their pros and cons.
Once a decision is made by one or both parties, one party must file with the court system… but if another method of divorce is tried filing does not need to happen officially until a formal agreement is made.
If a traditional route of litigation is chosen (without trial) the court process is 1) Petition 2) Response 3) Decree Nisi 4) Order/Decision 5) Final Decree Absolute (A divorce agreement)
Historically it is thought infidelity is the number one reason couples choose to divorce… but statistics tell us 80% of couples that experience infidelity are able to with proper and effective therapy and treatment recover fully.
Money issues (secrecy, excessive spending, financial loss and financial control) are unfortunately a greater problem.
Unresolved conflict and manipulative tactics of abuse and control are very difficult to recover from and in most cases if left alone and untreated cause angst and deterioration.
When one or both parties are contemplating the decision to divorce it leads to deep conflicting emotions of guilt, shame, blame, confusion, embarrassment, sadness, anxiety, fear of the unknown, financial secrecy, denial, anger, resentment, victimhood, negative coping mechanisms, gossip, projection, gaslighting, lying, inability to manage emotions and bad decision making.
Finding and working with an experienced expert certified divorce coach and consultant can help tremendously.
Immediately seek the guidance, support, resources, knowledge, wisdom, skills, tools, tips and reasonable advise of a Certified Divorce Coach/Consultant and consider Divorce Counseling. Find a Certified Divorce Coach near you. Consider seeking a divorce therapy support group that will allow you to meet other people also going through the divorce process.
Don’t go it alone and suffer is silence. Learn the benefits of divorce mediation as a method of amicable alternative dispute resolution.
Learn to mitigate outside influences wisely, gather your advocates and learn all your uncontested options before making bad decisions that set you up for greater conflict, disappointment and disastrous results.
It isn’t divorce that damages kids it is the manner in which their parents handle the entire process that affects them.
If both parents can learn to understand the negative effects of the words they speak and actions they display most children will recover from the breakup of the family as they knew it.
Divorce isn’t about blame, it’s about change.
Children typically do not like change. It takes them time to adapt and feel secure and safe.
Children thrive on routine and knowing they are not to blame and feel safe, secure, loved and that both parents will always still be their parents. Consider working with an experienced child divorce therapist, family divorce therapist and certified divorce coach that can help you and your family manage conflict and create a healthier environment for the children to thrive.