Facing a divorce is the most terrifying moment of your life. You’re losing your house, your children are up in the air, and on the other side of the table you’re facing the one person who was going to be your partner forever. Now they’re against you, and somehow the two of you have to work this all out. But how? 

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

Fortunately, you don’t have to go it alone. A credentialed divorce mediator can help you fairly and amicably settle your affairs, and do so for a fraction of the cost of a legal team. Because they are familiar with the legal process and protocols and are in a position to understand your unique priorities and needs, a mediator can prepare a settlement that is both equitable and sustainable so you can move forward without leaving any elephants in the room. 

Moreover, there’s also the emotional cost to consider. An experienced mediator can save you a lot of tears and stress, but most people don’t realize how much. Is a mediator for divorce going to fundamentally change who each of you are? Probably not, but the fact is most divorcees have to maintain some limited contact with their former spouse over things like support, alimony and custody. When your last joint act is one of equity, empathy, and constructive dialogue, the tone it sets for future interactions can make a world of difference for your quality of life. 

Brass Tacks

So how much is a mediator for divorce? Like most things the answer is “it depends”, but the average national cost is usually between $3000-$8000. If your situation is fairly straightforward and you both get along reasonably well, it could be less than that. If you have complicated assets and your ex is a high-conflict, abusive monster who’s only going to agree to things if every other option is clearly going to damage them financially, it may cost a bit more. That being said, there was no amount of money worth staying married to them anyway, and if they are threatening to nuke your life a mediator can be the difference between scorched earth and a charred lawn. 

Because You Were Already Getting Along So Well…

There’s an obvious challenge in the divorce equation that can make a mediator worth their weight in gold: productive communication. Bad communication is routinely cited as one of the top reasons couples split, and it can be anything from constant brutal bickering to apathy and indifference. In fact, problems talking about the things you now have to sort out—like money and kids—may be why you’re getting divorced in the first place.

Unfortunately, no matter how you slice it you’re going to have to share information, and whatever your communication challenges are you’re going to need to manage them when you are at your most hurt, emotionally unstable, and vulnerable. That’s the moment where a calm, professional voice of reason in the room can help you find an amicable and fair arrangement of finances and custody without resorting to costly legal proceedings. 

You can’t put a price tag on that. 

Time is Money

Oh, and even though you’re paying a divorce mediator by the hour or a flat rate, you know who doesn’t get paid to talk? You. Every hour you waste on unhelpful, unproductive exchanges with your ex is an hour of your life you’re never getting back. It’s the whole reason you’re getting a divorce, remember? If you had a nickel for every useless conversation that ended badly it would easily pay for a mediator, that’s for sure.  

Also, it’s important to note that a mediator is very different from a lawyer. Lawyers deal in threats, because their job is to represent the interests of one side or the other and argue that point into the ground. The goal is to win for their client, not help them get along with others for their mutual benefit. If that means using the law as a weapon to fray your last nerve and drain your bank account to the last penny, then that’s what they’re going to do.

Divorce mediators have no interest in ruining anyone. They represent both and neither of you, and their task is to escort you to the most fair, reasonable end-state they can with the least amount of toil and trouble. 

An Expert in the Room

“Wisdom is knowing what you don’t know.” Whether you prefer Socrates or Confucius, the fact of the matter is most people have no idea how much they don’t know about divorce. FYI: it’s a lot. 

When it comes to complicated issues like custody, nobody wants to set up an arrangement that’s doomed to fail because you lacked knowledge and experience. Worse, the only way you’re going to find all the hidden mines is by stepping on them, and that means more frustration and resentment for everyone. 

A credentialed divorce mediator knows all the traps and pitfalls of the divorce process, and can walk you through them thoughtfully and calmly to the other side. 

Helping You Towards A Better Future

How much is a mediator for divorce worth? It’s impossible to put a value on a smooth, amicable transition from marriage to your individual paths of happiness and success. For all the pain and heartbreak, the divorce mediation team at Better Divorce Academy knows there is a brighter day waiting for you ahead, and we will help guide you through the hardship to the other side.

Visit Better Divorce Academy to begin your journey towards your best life. You will get through this!