Self-love is the basis for self-improvement

There’s a quandary I hear people talk about a lot in the self-improvement world which goes something like this: “Should I keep trying to change, or should I just learn to love myself?”

The people posing this question almost invariably feel terrible about themselves, and further, they assume that’s par for the course. It isn’t. In fact this whole “self-love vs self-improvement” thing is a false dilemma, one that badly misunderstands the role of self-love.

This equates loving yourself with thinking you’re just fine the way you are. It treats self-love as a reward for being the person you want to be. It assumes that your self-regard should be based, in some sense, on you being objectively “good.” And conversely, it equates wanting to change with disliking yourself. But ask yourself- is this true of your love for other people?

If you love someone else, surely that means you want the best for them? You want them to be healthy, happy and successful. If you have children, you want them to do well in school. If a friend is unhappy with their life, you want their life to change so they’ll be happy.

Apply the same standards to yourself that you do to others- love yourself the way you love your friends and family. Decide to be better because you deserve better; because you love yourself and want to enable yourself to live your ideal life.

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I won the lottery in divorce.

I am the .001%

97% of divorce does not go to trial  and of the 3% that do go to trial only 1% of that 3% goes to the appellate court!

Well, that was ME.

I personally endured an 8.5 year fully litigated case that included a 12 day trial that took place over 9 months and after all that living hell…(please excuse my french)

there was a FOUR year state supreme appellate court process.

It cost a TON of money, years of my life tied up in court and it nearly destroyed me and my family.

the funny thing during this time I could barely help myself but time and time again other’s reached out to ME for help..

I called my attorney Marty (gutta remember I was born in Boston)

and told him what happening.

I asked him if I should go to law school…
he smiled and said you know Paulette you think like a judge act like a lawyer and feel like a therapist you owe it to give back and help people you my dear have experienced what 99% of people never will… that experience gives you the depth and the breath of the entire divorce process

Full Circle

my personal experience gave me the awareness, skills and strength to help countless others facing mediation, divorce, antagonistic litigation and ever-changing family dynamics.

It drove me to do a tremendous amount of education, training, internship, mentoring and certification and create Better Divorce Academy, author the #1 best selling book, workbook, and the 8-module self-paced course: Better Divorce Blueprint and host The Better Divorce Podcast.

With my team of experts, we blend private mediation with Certified Divorce Coaching to help you stay in control, make wise decisions, and maintain your dignity.

I’m here to transform divorce and create an optimal experience for YOU.

The one I didn’t have 😟

but you can.