The Cost of Freedom—and Why I Paid It Anyway

There’s a before and after in every woman’s life.
Before she knows.
And after she cannot unknow.

I remember the moment like it was yesterday.
I was standing in the hallway of a home that looked perfect from the outside—white shutters, polished floors, manicured lies.
My children’s laughter echoed from the next room.
But in my chest? Silence.
A kind of soul-deep quiet that whispered, This is not freedom. This is a cage with velvet curtains.

And I wanted out.
Not because I hated him.
But because I could no longer abandon myself.


💔 Freedom Isn’t Glamorous—It’s Gut-Wrenching

 

Let’s be honest.

Freedom doesn’t come with a welcome mat. It comes with panic attacks in parking lots, frozen bank accounts, judgmental glances, and a grief so heavy it buckles your knees.

It comes with lawyers who don’t understand.
Friends who think you’re overreacting.
Family members who wish you’d just “get over it.”
And sleepless nights wondering if you’ve just ruined your child’s life.

But I had to ask myself:
What’s the cost of not leaving?
What’s the price of staying small, silent, and shattered?

And that answer nearly broke me.


🔥 My Liberation Wasn’t Loud—It Was Relentless

 

No one threw me a parade.
There were no sparklers when I said, “enough.”

There was one attorney who believed in me,
three opposing attorneys trying to silence me,
two family court judges weighing my future,
three appellate court judges combing over every detail.
12-day trial that felt like soul surgery.
And a four-year odyssey through the state supreme appellate court.

Not for vengeance.
Not for drama.
But for justice.
For truth.
For sanity.
For myself.

Each court date hardened my spine.
Each lie revealed sharpened my resolve.
Each night I wanted to give up reminded me exactly why I couldn’t.


🌅 Freedom Doesn’t Feel Like Fireworks—It Feels Like Peace

 

It’s waking up without dread.
It’s hearing your child say, “You’re different now, Mom. You’re happy.
It’s trusting yourself with money, decisions, and boundaries.
It’s looking in the mirror and seeing someone you deeply respect.

Freedom isn’t always triumphant.
Sometimes it’s quiet. Steady. Sacred.

Sometimes it’s a woman, sitting alone in her truth, no longer willing to pretend.


💡 The Hardest Truth of All

No one is coming to save you.
But here’s the real miracle: you don’t need saving.

You are not broken.
You are not too much.
You are not too late.

You are becoming.
And like all becoming, it’s messy. Courageous. Holy.

This July, while the country celebrates independence…
You get to live it.
Claim it.
Embark on it.

The world may honor one kind of freedom with flags and fireworks.
But yours?
Yours will be lit with boundaries, bravery, and a future built on truth.

And that’s the kind of freedom that never fades.

With heart, grit, and unwavering belief in your rise,
Paulette
Divorce Doula. Freedom Midwife.
Founder of Better Divorce Academy 💔✨

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I won the lottery in divorce.

I am the .001%

97% of divorce does not go to trial  and of the 3% that do go to trial only 1% of that 3% goes to the appellate court!

Well, that was ME.

I personally endured an 8.5 year fully litigated case that included a 12 day trial that took place over 9 months and after all that living hell…(please excuse my french)

there was a FOUR year state supreme appellate court process.

It cost a TON of money, years of my life tied up in court and it nearly destroyed me and my family.

the funny thing during this time I could barely help myself but time and time again other’s reached out to ME for help..

I called my attorney Marty (gutta remember I was born in Boston)

and told him what happening.

I asked him if I should go to law school…
he smiled and said you know Paulette you think like a judge act like a lawyer and feel like a therapist you owe it to give back and help people you my dear have experienced what 99% of people never will… that experience gives you the depth and the breath of the entire divorce process

Full Circle

my personal experience gave me the awareness, skills and strength to help countless others facing mediation, divorce, antagonistic litigation and ever-changing family dynamics.

It drove me to do a tremendous amount of education, training, internship, mentoring and certification and create Better Divorce Academy, author the #1 best selling book, workbook, and the 8-module self-paced course: Better Divorce Blueprint and host The Better Divorce Podcast.

With my team of experts, we blend private mediation with Certified Divorce Coaching to help you stay in control, make wise decisions, and maintain your dignity.

I’m here to transform divorce and create an optimal experience for YOU.

The one I didn’t have 😟

but you can.