And the Way Out That Almost No One Knows Exists
I just finished reading that new piece in The Cut about women quietly quitting their marriages — the detachment, the resentment, the silent decades of sleepwalking through a life they stopped wanting. And while so much of it rings true — the passivity, the loneliness, the gut punch men feel when the “I’m done” finally drops — there’s a part we still aren’t talking about loudly enough:
Staying in an unhappy marriage is not noble. It’s corrosive. It eats you from the inside out. It makes you sick. It hardens your heart. It takes your joy, your health, your youth, your future.
I see it every day as a divorce ADR mediator and high-conflict divorce coach.
The women who wait… become shells.
The men who never speak… collapse on the inside.
The resentment grows in the dark like mold.
And for what?
A renovated kitchen?
Avoiding your mother’s judgment?
Not wanting to hurt someone who hasn’t listened in years?
I read my own deposition once and saw the words: “I was afraid to hurt his feelings.”
That was the moment I realized how much of myself I had abandoned.
But here’s the part the article doesn’t spotlight enough:
Divorce doesn’t have to be a bloodbath. It doesn’t have to be a courtroom circus. It doesn’t have to take years off your life and dollars out of your veins.
When you have a strategic guide
— someone who walks you through every piece of the process,
— someone who protects your emotional, financial, and legal wellbeing,
— someone who knows the terrain because they lived it and built a better map…
The exit becomes graceful. Wise. Humane. Private. Affordable. Clean.
Yesterday I mediated a 28-year marriage with three children…
Two hours. DONE.
I wrote their MOA, handed it to a transactional attorney, and within days, they’ll have everything the court requires — without ever setting foot inside one.
This could have been a dog fight. There is a lot to fight over. Property, funds, kids, egos. But they found me due to the fact that they were friends with a past client who did the same.
No war.
No scorched earth.
No trauma.
No wasted years.
Staying in a dead marriage ages you.
Leaving one with intention can save you.
Stop quietly quitting your own life.
If you’re going to go, go with dignity, strategy, and a plan that protects your sanity and your future.
There is a path out that won’t destroy you.
Most people just don’t know it exists.
Now you do too. There are no more excuses.
