The Ultimate Modern Divorce Checklist: 55 Non-Negotiables for Your Sanity, Strategy & Sovereignty

You’ve made the hardest decision of your life—or maybe it’s been made for you. Either way, you’re not broken. You’re brave. But now comes the real work: not just surviving your divorce, but outsmarting it, outgrowing it, and using it to build a life you’re proud of.

Welcome to your roadmap through the chaos. This isn’t just another list. This is a battle plan wrapped in strategy, truth, and radical self-respect. If you’re done Googling at 2 a.m., crying over coffee, or second-guessing yourself every five minutes—this is for you.

🔥 Your Pre-Divorce Power Moves

1. Pull your free credit report and start monitoring monthly. Financial blindness is over.
2. Open a personal checking and savings account at a bank your spouse doesn’t use.
3. Get a credit card in your name only—this is your independence in plastic.
4. Inventory every asset you own—yes, even those airline miles and that ugly wedding china.
5. List every single debt. Don’t flinch.
6. Track any new debts your spouse racks up. Screenshot everything.
7. Get your last 3 years of tax returns. If you don’t have them, get IRS transcripts.
8. Gather logins to financial accounts—before the passwords mysteriously “change.”
9. Beef up your emergency fund. Liquid cash = freedom.
10. If you’re a SAHM, squirrel away 3 months of expenses—quietly.
11. Document your contributions to the marriage, both financial and emotional. They matter.

🔒 Digital & Logistical Safeguards

1. Set up a private email for all divorce communications.
2. Lock down your tech: change all passwords, disable shared cloud access.
3. Stay off social media. No cryptic quotes, no revenge selfies.
4. Get a P.O. Box or a trusted friend’s address for sensitive legal mail.

💡 Clarify Your Role and Your Future

1. Decide who you want to be during this war. Dignity isn’t weakness—it’s power.
2. Put your kids first—but not in the middle.
3. Build your divorce dream team: lawyer, coach, therapist, money pro, truth-teller friend.

⚖️ Lawyer Up, The Smart Way

1. Hire a family law attorney. Not just any—one who gets high-conflict.
2. Book consults with three lawyers. Compare notes.
3. Organize your questions and bring documents to every meeting.
4. Ask about alimony, spousal support, parenting plans, leaving the house, and interim relief.
5. Evaluate lawyers for fit, not just fees.
6. Learn your legal path: mediation, collaborative, litigation, or DIY.
7. If you use a lawyer, remember: they work for you, not your ex.
8. Tell your lawyer if you want to change your name post-divorce.
9. Don’t do this alone. A divorce coach (hi, I’m Paulette 👋) will save you time, sanity, and legal fees.

💸 Financial Firepower

1. Schedule time with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA).
2. Ask your financial expert the hard questions about housing, income, insurance, and retirement.
3. Meet with a real estate pro to understand your housing options.
4. Figure out your health insurance—before it disappears.
5. Get a full medical check-up. Take care of you.
6. Itemize valuables and sentimental heirlooms. Photograph, store, and disclose.

🚚 Transition Game Plan

1. Plan the move—yours or theirs. Quietly.
2. Create a master list of post-divorce admin tasks: name changes, titles, accounts.

💬 The Divorce Talk & Co-Parenting

1. Choose your “Divorce D-Day.” Plan the talk with precision and compassion.
2. Speak to your spouse before telling the kids.
3. Script the conversation. Say it once, say it clearly.
4. Align on what, when, and how you’ll tell the children.
5. Draft a parenting plan: schedule, holidays, responsibilities.
6. Use a parenting app like OurFamilyWizard to reduce friction.
7. Line up therapists or school resources for your children.

📈 Rebuild. Reclaim. Reimagine.

1. Separate routines and start building your post-divorce lifestyle.
2. Audit your job, skills, and income. Strategize your next professional move.
3. If unemployed, activate a job search and/or hire a career coach.

🗝️ Post-Divorce: Lock It In

1. Confirm all financial transfers in accordance with your decree.
2. Update every beneficiary. Don’t leave your ex on your life insurance!
3. Notarize and file multiple copies of your decree.
4. Change your name legally, if you choose to.
5. Update vehicle titles and registrations.
6. Check your credit again post-divorce.
7. Draft a new will, power of attorney, and healthcare directive.
8. Create a self-care plan: who, what, and where is your support?

54. Surround yourself with people who GET IT. Start your healing in a high-integrity divorce recovery community. One that nourishes your mind, spirit, and soul.

55. Book a Divorce Strategy Session with Paulette. Because DIY divorce isn’t brave—it’s risky. Let’s create a plan so smart your future self will thank you.

👉 Work with Paulette Rigo at Better Divorce Academy

You’ve got one shot at doing this right. Let’s make it count.

About the Author – Paulette Rigo is a Credentialed Family Mediator, Certified Divorce Coach, and CEO of Better Divorce Academy. With her bestselling book Better Divorce Blueprint and acclaimed podcast, Paulette helps women turn their divorce breakdown into a breakthrough—no regret, only wisdom, dignity, and grace.

Ready to stop spinning and start winning? Book your FREE 45-minute Divorce Strategy Session with Paulette Rigo and transform your chaos into clarity. Visit BetterDivorceAcademy.com to get started.

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